Finality
by Katerina Kintari
Summary: The death of the person she loves only hardens Shepard's determination to save the galaxy. Updated with a last chapter to round off the story.
1. Endings

**Endings**

* * *

"You are beautiful, siha..."

Shepard grasped Thane's cold hand in hers as his last breath sighed out of his lungs. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed unashamedly into the white sheets. The shrill beeping of the medical devices around her seemed to mock her misery. She'd known that he was dying when they'd met. That had seemed irrelevant to her as they grew closer. His skill, intelligence, understanding had snuck in under her guard and stolen her heart. They had snatched hours, days, months of happiness with each other.

And now he was gone.

She remembered all the times they had shared, how he had come to her for the first time before the Omega 4 relay. She remembered the days and months as clearly as if she had possessed his memory. None of that made this moment any easier to bear. She sat there until his body grew cold, until she ran out of tears, and still she sat, clinging to his hand.

"Commander, I'm sorry. But it's time."

She raised bleary eyes to Miranda, to the hand placed on her shoulder. "Already, Miranda? I thought it would be longer."

"You've been here all night. The shuttle is prepared, and we're ready to go."

Drying her eyes, Shepard stood up and nodded. She touched his face one more time before covering him with the sheet. If they survived, she would make sure he was sent home. _Sent to his people_, she corrected herself. His home had been here, aboard the Normandy.

She made her way to the shuttle bay with Miranda beside her. The other woman made no comment or statement, offering her support silently. Shepard knew Miranda had experienced her own loss, and she appreciated the other woman's sensitivity.

They were all silent on the journey in the shuttle, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Shepard's own were a mix of anger, depression, determination, and pride. _This is it, then. Our last strike against the Reapers._ Today, they would either win completely, or lose to the cycle that had been perpetuated for millions of years.

She would make him proud of her.

She looked into each of their faces, memorizing them. She knew that some of them would not return.

Kaidan was there. She felt a brief pang for him. He'd left everything behind in his devotion to duty. Miranda, of course. She had such determination to use her abilities to the best that she was able.

Liara, Jacob, Wrex. Garrus, Tali. Samara. Grunt. All of them had the confident look of those who had faced death, and were ready to face it again. Kasumi's face was hidden, but the set of her shoulders spoke eloquently. Legion, as always, showed no concern.

Jack had been lost in a flare of biotic energy that had saved their lives and made this mission possible, giving her life to safeguard the information they carried. Mordin had poured out the last hours of his life on this final great discovery. Zaeed had pursued his old enemy into the grave. Ashley, lost so long ago.

Shepard broke the silence as they approached their goal. "You all know what's at stake here today. We've all been in this situation before. You are the best in the galaxy. We won't fail, we won't give up. We will stop the Reapers. For everyone."

They moved out.

* * *

Shepard panted, the hot air in the room scorching her lungs. They had fought through every imaginable danger. Their bodies were beyond exhaustion, and still they fought. She was so proud of all of them.

She and Legion were the only ones in the room. Beyond the doors behind her, she could hear Miranda barking out orders to keep the waves of husks, mechanicals, and hybrids out. She had brought her squad to the core of the Reaper hierarchy, and Legion was about to tell her what she needed to do to stop them.

"Shepard-Commander. We have found the answer. It is as anticipated."

"What is it, Legion?"

He told her. She closed her eyes in relief. She had not expected to return from this mission. The solution was absurdly simple.

"Are you ready, Shepard-Commander?"

"Yes, Legion. I am ready. Tell the others to get the hell out of here. I'll wait as long as I can." He left. She sealed the door behind him, slagging it until the metal melted.

Legion had shown her what to do. The sequence was not as complicated as she'd feared. The great structure before her began to glow, dark energy swirled in a gathering vortex. Her implants burned with a sympathetic heat. She briefly thought of all the work that made this possible, the steps she had taken to lead her to this place. Here, now.

She closed her eyes, spread her arms, and let the dark energy fill her.

She felt her consciousness expand as she pulled the energy into her body. She saw the entire history of the universe in a single gasp, all possible futures floated before her eyes as galaxies spun through her hands. She knew when her crew had managed to get to the shuttle. _Just a little longer_, she thought, trembling with anticipation.

It was simplicity itself to clear a corridor of space for the shuttle, barely an eyeblink was needed to send the Normandy back through the relay. She felt them leave her behind as they fled to safety.

She let go.

Her mind delved through the currents of darkness and found the heart of the Reaper's strength. All of the energy that they had gathered in their millions of years, every life and every consciousness that had been stolen, Shepard released in a single dark implosion. The blast dwarfed supernova in scope, encompassed eons. She tore the universe apart around the Reapers, and sealed it back together again.

Her mind and body evaporated as the energy drained out of her. She drifted on the ebb. There was nothing left around her, the silence was infinite. She reached out with the dregs of the life that had filled her and knew that her crew was safe. She felt Kaidan's grief, Miranda's pride. She reached further, straining. Anderson, waiting for news. Her mother, fearful for her child. And then she touched...something else...

_Siha. I am here._

_

* * *

_

_A/N: So I cried while I wrote this. I hope it's as touching to others. And I really really really hope BW does a happier ending. This takes place right before what could be the final mission in the future ME3._

_All characters and games property of BioWare of course._


	2. The Lost

**The Lost**

* * *

Miranda waited at the Citadel docks. They were loud and filled with jostling people. It seemed wrong that everyone could continue with everyday life. But this was what she'd fought for, so that life could continue. She could not grudge them that. She sighed.

Kaidan was agitated, clenching and unclenching his fists. Tali and Garrus had their heads bent over Tali's omni-tool, quietly arguing over something. She had brought Kaidan, Garrus, and Tali with her. She felt that they deserved to be here.

A woman detached herself from the crowd and walked toward them. Miranda was struck with disorientation. For an instant, it looked like the Commander herself was there. After a moment though, her eyes cleared and she could see the minute differences between the two. This woman was older. Her face broader. But they had the same walk, the same facial structure and commanding gaze. She shook her head to clear it, and stepped forward.

"Captain Hannah Shepard?"

"Yes, are you Miranda? Thank you for your letter." Her voice was lighter then Shepard's, but it had the same strong overtones, the same inflections.

"Your daughter was an amazing woman. It's an honor to meet her mother. And, I felt like I should meet with you, you should know what happened at the end. This is Kaidan Alenko, Garrus Vakarian, and Tali'Zorah vas...vas Normandy. They served with your daughter."

Captain Shepard nodded at each of them, looking strained. "You were with my daughter when she..?"

"We were all there. These three were with your daughter from the beginning." Miranda grimaced. "When I first knew your daughter, I questioned her. But I learned that she had a great heart and greater strength. She will always have my admiration."

Kaidan spoke up. "Captain Shepard, I've been a soldier since I was a kid. Your daughter was the greatest person I ever worked with. I...I doubted her once and...I..she was a hero." Kaidan's jaw clenched as he looked away and fell silent.

Captain Shepard's expression trembled but didn't change. Only a wetness at the corners of her eyes betrayed her emotion. Just like her daughter, Miranda thought.

Garrus put a sympathetic talon on Miranda's shoulder as he spoke up. "I would been lost without Shepard. She always led us to do our best. She was my Commander."

"Shepard saved my life more times then I can count," Tali said in her softly accented voice. "She came back from the dead for us. She saved all of us." Tali gestured with her omni-tool. "She would have wanted you to have this."

This was a small datafile, containing perhaps ten minutes of images and video. Commander Shepard's face appeared over the omni-tool with a startling detail and clarity. The image had captured Shepard in the midst of some command or thought. Her brow was wrinkled and her lips pursed as if about to speak.

At the sight of her daughter's image, Hannah Shepard finally bowed to her grief and covered her face with her hands. Any noise she made was covered by the sounds of the crowd around them, but Miranda could see her shoulders shake in a brief sob. When she straightened, though, the only sign of her distress were the wet tracks on her cheeks.

"Thank you for bringing this to me. I don't have very much that was hers." The images in the file flickered past. "Is this the young man she spoke of? I don't think I've seen his holo before. How did he take her...her death?"

Miranda hesitated. "He died..before her. The night before her, as a matter of fact. But she didn't let even that stop her."

A single tear ran down Hannah Shepard's face at the news. "My poor girl," she whispered.

"No!" Miranda said firmly. "She was a hero. We should all be proud of her. She died saving us. We owe it to her to be proud."

"We all loved her, Captain Shepard," Tali added. "Any of us would have given our lives to save hers."

Captain Shepard straightened, firmly bringing herself under control. "Thank you for bringing this to me. It's good to know that she had such friends, for however short a time. I would like to be alone now."

"If you need anything, call us, we will come, ma'am," Garrus said.

"Thank you again. I appreciate everything that you've done." She made her farewells and headed toward her ship.

Miranda sighed. "I wish we could have done more for her."

"We carry Shepard in our hearts. That will need to be enough. I need to report in," Kaidan said.

"Good luck, Staff Commander Alenko. Don't forget her. Or us."

"I couldn't. Ever."

*****

Captain Shepard settled in to her bunk with a sigh. The tears that she would not shed in public came freely now, and she wept for her daughter. She wondered how it could be that she still lived while her only child was dead. Reaching out a shaking hand, she activated the datafile that the girl had given her. Her daughter's face appeared again, drawing fresh tears from Captain Shepard.

She managed to dry her tears while watching her daughter moving through the video. There were snapshots that she recognized as Commander Shepard's ship, the Normandy. There was her memorial plaza on Elysium. A short sequence from her induction as a Spectre. Years flew by in those brief moments. The celebration on the Citadel after Sovereign was destroyed. The small service when they had thought her dead. There was the recording Hannah had received from her daughter after her rediscovery. Some place that looked like a desert.

The last image looked recent, a few months old at the most. She recognized the place as Illium. Golden light poured over her daughter's face. She wasn't looking in to the camera, but rather at the person standing next to her.

It was the man that she had been told about. The audio portion of the file likely contained his name, but she was captivated by the holo of her daughter. She was smiling up at him. One of his oddly shaped hands was wrapped in her hair, the other was held between the Commander's hands. They were smiling at each other, sparkling with life and love. They looked happy.

"Oh, my daughter." Hannah Shepard whispered.

* * *

**A/N: Shepard demanded that this be written**. **Please R&R. All feedback is welcome--please inform me of mistakes, OOCness or criticisms.  
**


	3. Goodbyes

**Goodbyes**

* * *

Shepard's empty coffin lay side by side with Thane's full one on a rocky shelf above the sea. The last rays of the setting sun picked out their names before they disappeared into the memory of the fading day.

The song of the Encompassing underlaid the sounds of the mourners as they made their way down the steep path from the edge of the cliff.

Long after night touched its gentle shadowy caress to the smooth edges of the crypt, a salty scented breeze originating from the purple depths of the wavering horizon blew across the tomb.

It twisted the long trailing banners into folded knots and scattered petals to dance through the velvet sky. It fluttered open the folded cards where those left behind had written their last thoughts, and left one lying open before the memorial as it soared toward the stars.

_You did good, child._

* * *

**A/N: **SPOILERS AHEAD****

**So I originally wrote this story as a worst case scenario for Thane. Little did I know that I would be wrong and Bioware would do a much worse job. There's literally almost no reaction to Thane's death and...ugh yeah. Other than a few details, it's actually rather depressing how close I otherwise was to what really happened. Except with, you know, storytelling in it.**

**Sorry, bitterness over.**

**To fill in a few gaps, the idea of this story is that Thane dies shortly before the final mission before triggering the Crucible. Shepard and team actually took the Citadel relay in to Reaper darkspace, the "Crucible" is the Reaper command center, and Shepard is the "Catalyst." A living, sentient being with a unique blend of mental and physical abilities (augmentations, impants, experience, personality, and soul) to use the power the Reapers had stored and stolen, and use it to destroy her enemy.**

**I wanted to write this out, but I realized that adding chapters BEFORE the first one doesn't make a lot of sense :)**

**R&R would be appreciated. Please limit any reviews to the story-if you disagree with my viewpoints, feel free to send me a PM.**


End file.
